I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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