is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
