I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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