Me. At least after what I've been through.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
