Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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