"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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