she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
