i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
