a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
