just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
please come you make the beer taste better
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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