This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
