It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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