Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize