I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
