nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
