Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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