That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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