My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
