She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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