Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
