it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
