dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
