Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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