After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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