Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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