ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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