I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
