Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
