Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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