If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
