you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize