she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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