This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
