you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
