just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
