if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize