she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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