Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
