I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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