too bad you live with your parents still
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize