OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
