I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
