I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
they're like a gay fantastic four
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
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I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?