the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister