How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.