Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
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Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?