Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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(702): The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before http://tfl.nu/ogqr

Replies (5) Good night (2823) Bad night (641)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.

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(856): take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month. http://tfl.nu/ebzl

Replies (23) Good night (957) Bad night (4326)
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(205): View more from Alabama

She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.

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(205): She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem. http://tfl.nu/ppj9

Replies (27) Good night (4563) Bad night (954)
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(386): View more from Florida

you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

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(386): you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/n48i

Replies (18) Good night (1041) Bad night (4374)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.

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(402): He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him. http://tfl.nu/b1lr

Replies (8) Good night (4041) Bad night (1726)
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(989): View more from Michigan

his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.

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(989): his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/sm1y

Replies (19) Good night (4143) Bad night (1156)
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(714): View more from California

Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.

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(714): Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again. http://tfl.nu/2ucs

Replies (4) Good night (892) Bad night (2675)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit

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(989): I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit http://tfl.nu/8uwi

Replies (2) Good night (1860) Bad night (1006)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(570): No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am. http://tfl.nu/layb

Replies (6) Good night (1999) Bad night (671)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.

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(724): They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now. http://tfl.nu/wmrg

Replies (7) Good night (2102) Bad night (747)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things

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(319): Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things http://tfl.nu/stlu

Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (638)
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(613): View more from Ontario

She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think

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(613): She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think http://tfl.nu/7fbd

Replies (21) Good night (980) Bad night (2077)
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(417): View more from Missouri

So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?

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(417): So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye? http://tfl.nu/90tu

Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (451)
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(707): View more from California

He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.

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(707): He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro. http://tfl.nu/sp67

Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (360)
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(563): View more from Iowa

What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

(1-563): View more from Iowa

You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

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(563): What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me (1-563): You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding http://tfl.nu/u1iy

Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (406)

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