yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
