why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
