strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
