I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize