pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
