So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The power of my boobs compel you
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
