Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
