Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize