the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
