I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
