your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
