remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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