at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
