Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
