just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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