Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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